That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
