Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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