I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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