i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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