fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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