He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
