Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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