North Korea, Best Korea!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Randomize
