He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
