So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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