if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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