Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He did a backflip because drugs
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
