i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
