there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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