i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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