got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
