You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
