GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
