How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
