hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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