no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
