Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
