so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
