aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
