Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
