my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
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