ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize