My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
