Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
