Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
this just has baby written all over it
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Randomize
