can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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