the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
