I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
