I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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