So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize