hell yes lets make some ravioli
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
