I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize