So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
