So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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