Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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