i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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