Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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