You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
