Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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