haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
