All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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