woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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