Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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