The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
