when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
