it hurts more in the daytime
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I think a kid would responsible me up
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
