I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
