She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
