i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
