i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
