I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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