Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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