Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
