What a fucking waste of an outfit
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
