You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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